There is so many problems in today's world. It worries me about Audrey's future. It makes me wonder what world were leaving for the future generations.

Its also makes me want to lock Audrey away so she never sees how ugly the world is.

As I write this 60 minutes is doing a report about a 14 year old being abused. This friggen scares me.

Body Image
I always hoped that I'd be one of those lucky women, that have children and bounce back easily.

This has not been the case. Audrey was a big baby 8.6 pounds. My body struggled to cope and then afterwards the fatigue kicked in. Sometimes Audrey will only sleep a couple of hours.

To get through the day I've been binge eating. I was two sizes smaller before the pregnancy.

In a way it makes me feel like I've lost control.

I don't want to stop eating but I do want to eat healthier and a little less. I'd love to fit in my old cloths again.

Some days I look in the mirror and I see a stranger. Some days I can"t even look in the mirror.

The struggle is real but Audrey was worth it.

But it's my secret struggle. We all have them this one is mine.

Can't believe my girl (Audrey) is 9 months old. Time goes so fast😩

I still remember giving birth and already she's crawling around the house 😂.

I didnt realize how incredibly hard and rewarding parenting is. She amazes me everyday.



13 Reasons Why
I loved the series but I think it should come with big warnings on it triggering people.

Now the reason why I loved it is because it highlighted how horrible high school can get. It also highlighted the effects that friendships have on people. And that words and actions can hurt more than you think.

I also liked that it brought teen suicide and mental help in the lime light again. Hopefully it may of helped someone to talk. Or an adult to realize the symptoms their children may have.

Who knows it could of saved a life.

But I didn't like

I didn't think it was necessary that they showed exactly and graficly her suicide.

I nearly had an anxiety attack and I had flash backs of my attempt. I cried for nearly an hour.

I also didn't like the fact that the series could of given someone ideas on how to do it themselves.

The family
I've decided to stop desperately trying to please people. Some people are Jurks but that is life.

But it can hurt knowing their your siblings, but seriously I've spent all my life trying to please them. Well they forgot about me one last time. It's my families time now.

Enough said on that subject.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while!

Baby Audrey
So we found out what the sex of the baby is and it's a girl. We are going to call her Audrey with the middle name Rose.

So far everything is going well the doctors are happy with her development. But to tell you the truth I just can't wait for her to be born I'm a little over it.

I have 3 months 7 days 9 jours 17 minutes and 10 seconds to go.
Doctors say there are 10 months of pregnancy not 9. Its odd and took me a little to get my head around it but it's because they count pregnancy in weeks not months. So they say pregnancy is 40 weeks.

I found that in order to feel in control of the situation I have to be super organised, so of cause I've organised everything early. All I need to do is pack my hospital bag. But I'm saving that until I'm eight months so I can keep myself busy.

So as you can imagine everything is baby baby baby!

Work
So of cause when I fell pregnant I had just started work and was still on probation. I started showing really early so all of a sudden they didn't need me anymore. So I pretty much got the boot with the lamest reason. They said I was unreliable. Such a load of croc anyone that knows me knows that I'm never late. I could be crazy early but never late. And I had never called in sick, so really they just wanted me gone before they had to pay pregnancy leave.

I could fight it but it's not worth the stress

So now I'm a bored stay at home wife until Audrey gets here. which to everyone sounds awesome but to me it's boring and very lonely. Especially now that we live in the country and I don't really know anyone.

Book
So today I felt motivated enough to drive to the library. I'm about to start reading All I ever wanted by Vikki Wakefield.

How's everyone going? How's life?

Just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant!!

I wish I could tell everyone but apparently I should wait till 12 weeks. That's when I know the baby is safely developing apparently.

I think he doctor didn't realize how impatient I can be!

So live journal will have to do for now!

I've actually got a Saturday night off.....miracles do happen. So I've made plans to have dinner at my sister's house. I haven't seen her girls in a very long time (it's hard with their schooling and my crazy work hours).

Baby Talk
So my husband and I have been talking about having kids for a while now. But we've decided to start trying for one next year (around June I'll be 30 then). I'm so excited about it! My husband's, brothers wife is having her third child in 3 weeks,. So the baby talk is everywhere!
I've already got a lot of baby stuff given to me. My sister is even letting me borrow her baby furniture. But I refuse to get a second hand pram. Not because I'm a snob or anything I just want one thing that is my own.

So exciting times ahead!

Health
I've been feeling like absolute crap all week. I guess summer is over so my body has decided to give up. ok ok it's not that bad. But still i feel like death, the cough and lack of energy are worst of my symptom. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide till its over.

Books
So I'm now reading the final book in the Cassandra Clare series. I've enjoyed it so far. But I wouldn't say it's in the same category as say Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. But still a good read.

Work
So I served these two American women at work last night and they called me over to find out how to tip in Australia. Boy were they surprised when I said not to worry about it because we get payed so well over here. They still insisted on tipping (they were very nice ladies). So I let them know that I get $24.80 and hour with sick leave and annual leave (annual leave is paid time off). Which created us having a great conversation about the differences in the American and Australian hospitality industries.

I certainly learnt that the've defiantly got it harder than us! I don't know if I'd survive over there. I think it's a good thing to sometimes be reminded about how good we have it.

Ok as I've probably already said that the restaurant that I've been working in is closing down for renovations. But it's all good because of my contract they have to place me in another restaurant or department for the time being. It just sucks that I have no idea which one yet. So of cause thats all that people are talking about at work. Lets just say the gossip and rumours are spreading like wild fire.
It's starting to become frustrating and I'm a little stressed because I had wished I had stayed where I was. Well I wouldn't of minded a management turn over though.

Shopping
So today I decided to stop drooling at the shop window and buy a new pair of Sketchers. There so amazing I got the ones with the memory foam inside. There my new love lol. And best of all no laces so I can just pull them on and off when every I want. (I have a habit of taking my shoes off whenever my husband drives us anywhere)

It's been a long time since I brought something for myself as all of my money has been used to buy things for the house. But after a few months of being tight with my spending I start to feel a little depressed. I think it's good to treat yourself once in awhile.

Ron Weasley from Harry Potter.
As I always looked up to my older siblings and was always a little jealous of them. And in a way I wanted to achieve something to make me stand out from them.
But also as a teenager I also idolised my friends and crazily enough I would of done just about anything for my best friends.

Work

So I've been doing some absolutely crazy hours at the moment, hense why I haven't updated in a while. My work week now consist of 4 x 11 hour days. By the end of it I'm so tired it brings me to tears. But on a good note their going to be renovating the restaurant. Which mean they have to place me somewhere else while the do it (as part of my contract). But the beauty of it is that I get to choose to come back.
Which i probably wont.... depending on where they put me and what hours I'm going to do. So fingers crossed I'll be in a good place.

Reading

OK so I'm still reading the Cassandra Clare series. I'm currently about to start book five. I love being hooked on book series, as it make choosing a book to read so much easier.

House
OK so we decided to do shutters on every window instead of curtains. They may be very expensive to buy but their cheap to maintain. So we may not do every window at once....even though I wish we could.

Live Baiting
It's been all over the news that people have been using live animals train greyhounds. I'm so shocked! My dad use to race Greyhounds and he wouldn't even think about doing it. What a cruel world we live in! At least the poor babies didn't die in vain and the RSPCA was able to catch them out. These people are facing animal abuse chargers. I hope the judges slams down hard on them.

But my only worry is whats going to happen to all the greyhounds? Not all of them are going to be able to be rehomed. There could be hundreds of greyhounds effected by this.

The animal kingdom weeps today as both greyhound and bait animal are the victims here.

House
So in my last entry I spoke about the fault made in the archway at the entrance. When my husband pointed it out to the builder he said that he's not fixing it and that if it happens just claim in under warranty. Isn't that crazy?? shouldn't he just fix the problem it would only take a couple of hours to do so. If anything I find it really rude. I told my husband were not signing off the next payment until they fix it.

With all the drama in building this house I'd be happy to live in it forever and never deal with it again.

Cant wait for it to be over!

Work
So it looks like my 6 week payed annual leave has been allowed! (does jig)
Can't wait till June!

House
So the brick work is finished but we have found a fault in the archway well my brother in Law found it in a photo (he's a brick layer). So my husband is going to call the builder today. Our neighbours are starting to get quite annoyed at the builders, considering that the builders destroyed their garden it's understandable. Except instead of telling us about it one the man living there went up to my husband and told him he's suing the builder. Which means that they would of stopped building until it went to court. They even accused us of building the house too close to the fence.
Lucky my husband went over too their house and disscussed the issues.
The garden is now fixed and my husband got the measuring tape and measured the length between the house and the fence. Were in by 10cm. So crisis averted! And were still good friends with the neighbours!
I was so angry because we had become good friends and didn't talk to us. Just threatened us with legal action. Although funny enough the wife owns the house and she had no idea what was happening.

The archway brick work



Reading
So Im going to be starting the third book from the Cassandra Clare Immortal Instruments series. So far the series has been good not crazy good like Harry Potter but enjoyable. It was hard finishing the second book because I made the big mistake of watching the film.